


Hold Me In the Dark

by sensualmurder



Category: Naruto
Genre: And a Hug, Fluff, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, Iruka needs a break, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Sleepy Cuddles, look here a dumb bitch who still cant tag, maybe??? it gets kinda sad i guess, slight angst, what the Fuck is tagging bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 07:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19763686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sensualmurder/pseuds/sensualmurder
Summary: "Kakashi," Iruka says against Kakashi's lips when he pulls away. "Kakashi, I want you to hold me.""Okay," Kakashi sighs. "I'll hold you."[ title - Better by Khalid ]





	Hold Me In the Dark

~~~

Iruka?

Iruka, where are you? 

Iruka, I need you. I need your hands, your smile. 

Iruka, please. 

~~~

The swirl of homesickness in Kakashi's gut makes him lean to the side and hurl. He digs his nails into tough bark as he pants, heavily depending on the tree he's laid up in for the night can ground him back into reality, not the dream he got caught up in with his lover. 

A comrade across from Kakashi looks at him with pitiful eyes, and for whether it's the legendary Copy Ninja Kakashi throwing up thinking about his man back home or feeling bad for Kakashi's sudden sickness, Kakashi doesn't know. He doesn't care either. 

All he wants is Iruka. 

Iruka, I'm almost home. 

—

Kakashi had lied to himself. 

He lied when he said he was almost home; lied on the letter he sent saying he'll be home by lunch time the next day. He expected Iruka would get it by morning, and that would give him enough time to extract the energy he'll have gained because his Kakashi is coming home, his Kakashi is alive and well and he's sent a letter to Iruka telling him so. 

Yet when Kakashi had failed to make it home, Iruka started to fret. He paced in his apartment, paced in the Hokage's office, all the while firing off questions about Kakashi's mission. At first to himself, and then to the Hokage. Lady Tsunade knew nothing, for she, too, had gotten a letter saying the squad will return tomorrow by late morning. 

"I just need you to breathe, Iruka. They probably got caught in a crossfire or had a surprise attack launched on them. Naruto's on a lesser important mission with his comrades, would you like me to call him home so he can distract you from Kakashi?" Lady Tsunade had a strong hand massaging Iruka's shoulder as she spoke, yet all Iruka could focus on was the purple diamond on her forehead. 

"No. I'll just take a nap and hope he's home by the time I wake up." Iruka gives a slight bow as he leaves with a quiet goodbye. 

–

Kakashi and his comrades having to take out a surprise squad of rogue ninjas wore them oug even further. To their luck the outcasts were far weaker than them, so their attack was dumb and unnecessary, but there were many of them. The only thing Kakashi can vividly remember from the fight is taking on seven at once. Not as if he hasn't done it before, but there's a difference when he's refreshed and stored with chakra than when he's tired and still trying to climb back up to one hundred percent. 

His squad works on checking to see if the rogues had any paraphernalia with them that would hint to a previous village. He didn't expect to see such young faces beneath the mask and bandages they had wrapped themselves in, and the sudden thought that maybe they were just messing around killed his soul just a little more. 

The thought was shot down when a comrade pulled a list of names from one of their robe, confirming that they were indeed rogue ninjas. Not just teenagers Kakashi had killed with his bare hands– with his own kunais and shurikens. 

He'd have to send Iruka another letter before he slept. That is if he slept; everyone was on edge, and the ninja who held the scroll to report it to Lady Tsunade was the most on edge, for she is the one who had pulled it from the corpse and read over the names. 

Kakashi's was bolded, having been rewritten many times to emphasise the importance of his death. The lady ninja had given him questioning eyes as she read over the names that weren't crossed out, but all Kakashi had to offer was a shrug. 

His mind was elsewhere; elsewhere being Iruka. His poor lover was probably worried sick about Kakashi and his late return, or he had already gotten over that and had moved to angry tears. Angry because Kakashi had lied to him, and tears because he may be dead. 

As Kakashi constructed another quick letter to send to Iruka, he made sure to try and lighten it up with a small joke of 'quit stressing, it gives you wrinkles.' 

Kakashi can hear Iruka's voice saying 'I work with little kids, idiot. You are no better than any of them, either.' as he begins to fall asleep resting up against another tree. 

He doesn't throw up that night. 

–

The bed is cold without Kakashi by Iruka's side. Cold without the lanky man curled up against him like a cat as he huffs warm air against Iruka's clavicles. Iruka misses how Kakashi's knees would bump against his flanks and make him jolt, the ticklishness always coming as a surprise no matter how many times it happens. 

Sometimes Kakashi would make fun of him, other times Kakashi would engage in a full on tickle war until Iruka was beneath him, begging for air as Kalashi mercilessly wiggled his fingers against Iruka's sensitive body. Other nights, nights where Kakashi's days had been long and stressful, he would apologise and curl up closer. 

Iruka thinks of adopting a cat for the both of them to care for until he's roused by a knock on the window in their bedroom. He moves slowly as he retrieves a kunai from Kakashi's side of the closet before moving to stand just beside the window. He breathes steadily as he pulls at the edge of the curtain to get a glimpse of his midnight visitor. 

The kunai slips from his hand as his breath stops. 

– 

Kakashi debated for a solid minute on whether he should enter through the front door and surprise Iruka in the morning, or if he should go back to what he used to do when the two men were teenagers and surprise him at his window. 

As he tapped on the glass with his bruised but healing knuckles, he realises it's probably a bad idea. Iruka's on edge often– a mystery Kakashi has yet to uncover. Maybe it's because he's a sensei that deals with children tossing sharp objects with the high potential of strays on the daily. 

Kakashi sees the curtain move slightly, and before he can fully meet eyes with his lover, the curtain is pulled back to its original spot. Kakashi waits for Iruka to collect himself before he knocks again, this time with only the tips of his fingers. 

If Kakashi heard right, Iruka had fallen on his ass, which probably looked ungraceful. After a minute the curtains are yanked aside and the window is vehemently opened. Kakashi is pulled through the window by Iruka, hands wrapped around his calves. 

It's Kakashi's turn to land on the floor on his ass. Though he can't be mad for too long, for Iruka collapses tiredly in his lap as he wraps himself around Kakashi like a koala bear. He locks his ankles together behind Kakashi's back and squeezes around the taller mans neck. They're chest to chest; Kakashi can feel Iruka's heart pound against his. 

Kakashi loosely crosses his ankles behind Iruka, taking in the heavenly scent of the mans shampoo, the mans scent in general, and he pulls Iruka even closer to him. He notes how Iruka's hair has grown down just past his elbows, and Kakashi wants to run his fingers through it until he dies. 

He strokes the dark locks, fingers tingling pleasantly at the silky feeling of his lovers hair. He twirls the ends around his fingers and combs through sections that aren't tangled from Iruka's tossing and turning in bed. Inhales the familiar, toxicating scent of vanilla. 

"I thought you died." Iruka says against Kakashi's shoulder. "I was starting to plan your funeral. Then your second letter came and I wanted to punch you in the face for making me stress." Kakashi was silent for a few minutes, letting Iruka's anger thrum through the room before it faded. 

"I'm sorry I scared you. You know I wouldn't do something like that on such a serious mission." Kakashi begins to trace patterns on Iruka's lower back with gentle fingertips. "All I could think about was you on the way back." 

"All I could think about was you the second you left." Iruka counters back. Kakashi pinches at his side, and the huff of a tired laugh Iruka gives is enough to pull away from the mans warmth and meet his eyes. 

They're wet with unshed tears. Kakashi tucks hair behinds Iruka's ears, the tips of them painted red with a soft flush thst trails down to the tip of his nose. Kakashi removes his mask to speak, tugging the fabric down to fit around his neck. "I missed you."

Those shimmering eyes began their waterfall of salt and the mouth he missed began to tremble. Kakashi kissed them away with his own shaky lips. "I'm sorry. I'm here now, you've got me." 

"Say my name." Iruka whispers through Kakashi's kisses against the corners of his mouth. 

"Iruka." Kakashi says against Iruka's jaw. 

"Again." More tears fall from Iruka's eyes, and Kakashi is quick to make them go away. 

"Iruka." Kakashi holds Iruka at his waist now, fingers massaging at the thickness there. 

Iruka hums softly. "Again." 

"Iruka," Kakashi's against his ear now, Iruka's dampened cheek pressing against his. "Iruka, Iruka, Iruka," 

Iruka pulls away and grabs for silver hair with unsteady hands, tugging his lover forward until they meet in a watery kiss. It's desperate and salty, and Kakashi melts into the fingers slowly tangling themselves into his hair. 

"Kakashi," Iruka says against Kakashi's lips when he pulls away. "Kakashi, I want you to hold me." 

"Okay," Kakashi sighs. "I'll hold you." 

Iruka climbs off of Kakashi's lap slowly, as if he was scared to leave the man without his touch– scared that, if he did, Kakashi would disappear. Iruka led him to the bed with both of Kakashi's hands held in his. 

He's pulled into Iruka's embrace, and he cuddles up at his side like it's second nature. "No," Iruka murmurs. "Hold me, 'Kashi. Hold me and let me know you're real." 

For the first time in decades, Kakashi feels like he could cry. He straightens out his back and pulls Iruka to his chest, running his fingers through silk as he nudges Iruka's head forward against his heart. As Iruka hears the quick and steady beats, Kakashi feels more tears falling. 

As Kakashi brushes the tears away with his unoccupied hand, he gently traces his thumb over the puckered scar slashed across Iruka's nose. Kakashi leans to kiss the corner of the scar he can see, then moves to scatter butterfly light kisses against the visible skin of Iruka's face. 

"Mmn, tickles." Iruka moans quietly, nuzzling into Kakashi's chest to get away from the teasing pecks. Kakashi noses into his hair instead, still taking in and treasuring the warming scent of vanilla. 

Sleep was a drawn out progression, Iruka having been crying on and off as Kakashi took to comforting him. Kakashi didn't mind, he never does, and even through Iruka's small hiccuped apologies of keeping Kakashi awake, Kakashi shushed him and told him to shut up. 

There was no goodnight exchanged between them, nor was it absolutely necessary. Kakashi was home; he was holding Iruka in their bed in their apartment under the sheets and comforters they bought together. Kakashi was home, and Iruka couldn't be more thankful. 

– 

Morning came around slowly. Iruka was first to wake up, though he was pretty much immobilised with the way Kakashi had wrapped himself around Iruka throughout the night. His silver hair was disheveled, his mouth was open on soft snores, and Iruka hasn't missed anybody this much in a long time. 

He let Kakashi sleep, assuming that the ninja was worn out after his mission considering how long he'd been gone. Iruka stared up at his sleeping face. He dared not to move, worrying that any sort of big movements would stir Kakashi awake. 

Kakashi awoke on his own just as Iruka was close to falling back to sleep. Iruka whispers to him a soft, "good morning." 

"Maa," Kakashi simpers, sluggishly turning his head as he lets his body and mind fully wake up. "I wanna sleep some more."

"I know, but it's already the afternoon. You need to sleep tonight too." Iruka sits up, placing his hands on either side of Kakashi's shoulders and leaning over him. His hair falls from his shoulders like a blanket, and Kakashi takes a strand around his fingers to twirl it. "Breakfast?"

"Brunch," Kakashi corrects. Iruka flicks him on the nose, "and who said I'm hungry? What if I just want to lay here with you all day?" As he says it, his stomach grumbles loudly. 

Iruka gives him a look, one that clearly says he knows Kakashi better than he knows himself sometimes, and Kakashi sits up. "What do I get in return?" 

"A full belly. Now get up, idiot."

**Author's Note:**

> There’s gonna be an NSFW alternative to this at some point, but I don’t know when it’ll be posted. I have around 200 words of it down. I think. 
> 
> Anyway, as said last time, leave comments and kudos and don’t forget to stan Hawks.


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